Sparkle & Sense is Crystal’s space to share the real moments behind all the hats she wears — Black woman, wife, mom, professional, creator. It’s where she writes about marriage in all its brutiful layers, motherhood in its beauty and chaos, and the lessons that shape her as she grows. It’s real, reflective, and brilliantly human. And, this is where Crystal shines and tells the truth at the same time.
SPARKLES
&
Sense
Being an independent woman…in a marriage
I’ve always taken pride in being an independent, Black, short stack of a woman. I wear “It’s handled” like an Olivia Pope badge of honor, you know? I get stuff done, make decisions, carry my own weight, and I like standing on my own two feet without needing to rely on anyone else but me, myself, and I. And that independence shaped me long before marriage ever entered the picture.
When one is growing fast and the other is standing still
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the seasons we go through in marriage — the ones that feel aligned and easy, and the ones that feel… uneven. In our latest Brutiful Marriage episode, we talked about what happens when one partner is on a growth streak and the other is holding steady. And honestly, that conversation hit home for me in ways I didn’t expect.
Petite? Precious? Please — I’m proven.
I am a short and petite, Black, fully grown woman. I’ve been working in corporate America since I was nineteen. I’ve built a career, earned two degrees, raised two kids, loved a husband, kept a dog and most of my plants alive…and I’ve developed the kind of personal resolve you only get from having something to prove — and prove, and prove over and over again.
I’m not the problem. I’m the magnifying glass.
I’ve encountered men (and one woman) throughout my career who’ve felt threatened by me. The pattern took different shapes—different titles, different workplaces, different personalities—but the energy was familiar: the patronizing tone, the sudden competitiveness, the quiet sabotage dressed up as “feedback,” the convenient misunderstandings that only ever landed on me.